Introduction

The real test of courage is not to die, but to truly live. 

--Conte Vittorio Alfieri

 

Life is filled with choices. Where you go, what you do, and who you become are the result of daily decisions you make. There is one decision that outweighs all the rest, and that is: will you be true to yourself in a world trying to make you like everyone else? What does that even mean? We are endlessly pursuing goals to have more, win more, achieve more--all of which could be wiped out in one economic tidal wave. Is the path you're on taking you where you really want to go? When you're on your deathbed looking back on your life, will you have peace and fulfillment with no regrets?

In my experience talking to and working with world-class performers and leaders, I've learned that what we really want, beyond our tangible goals and pursuits, is fullness of life. We want to have great experiences and use our full potential. We want to be challenged, we want to be creative, and we want to grow. We want freedom to live with passion and pursue our dreams regardless of what people think, how much money we make, or what level of status we acquire. Ultimately, we want to vividly experience great moments in our life and live fully.

Fear takes all of that away. Instead of challenges, fear sees obstacles; instead of opportunities, setbacks. Instead of experiencing growth, we live in the past. If we want to truly live, we need to embrace our fears and find the courage to be our true selves.

As an outfielder in the Chicago Cubs organization, my self-image and self-acceptance revolved around my batting average. When I hit well, I walked tall and felt great. When I hit poorly, my shoulders slumped and my outlook was dark. Life was a roller-coaster of emotions. I was a slave to the results, and it stifled my performance.

When I started my coaching career, I saw this over and over again: athletes had lost the joy of performing, and their passion for life, as they struggled under the pressure to win. The fear of failure engulfed their lives.

In my research on fearlessness, I came upon British adventurer Lewis Gordon Pugh. In 2007 he took a Russian icebreaker to the arctic circle to swim one kilometer in below-freezing ice water. He wore only a Speedo, cap, and goggles. You'll read about how, though filled with fear and contemplating the real possibility of death, he made a powerful difference on an international scale. You'll also learn how others around the world have used his same strategy, and how you can too--because it works.

This book is about extraordinary performance and long-term fulfillment, at the office, on the field, and at home. We'll look at world-class performers who lived balanced, fulfilling lives and study the key principles that allow them to do that. We'll attempt to understand the unique perspective on life of extraordinary people, including how they've learned to direct and control their feelings and compete to win without becoming enslaved by their performance.

We'll see how the basic principles are the same, whether you're an athlete or an executive, an Olympic team or a small business. We'll explore the concepts of self-actualization and the ways in which the study of extraordinary people teaches us to perform our best and truly live.

This is a book based on a presupposition: the biggest obstacle we face, in performance and in life, is self-centeredness. It's not the morality of it that I speak of. The main issue is that in our preoccupation with ourselves, our vision narrows, our growth is limited, and our failures are amplified. You may not think you're self-centered, but consider this: Is not everything you think, say, and do based on your experiences, your goals, and your beliefs? How you see the world and therefore what you believe is possible, derives from you... or more precisely, who you perceive you are. That perception comes from your mind's continual assessment of your past, to which you become attached. It's that attachment that limits us. Our biggest obstacle is in our mind, or rather the program our mind runs based on its perception of who we were.

The solution is one that has empowered world-class performers, Olympic and professional athletes, and some of the best businesses in North America. It's a model based on three simple words: love, wisdom, and courage. Love is to lead with the heart, wisdom is to expand your vision, and courage is to be fully present. In this model, love becomes passion, wisdom becomes purpose, and courage becomes poise.

Any athlete or executive, as well as any team or organization, can achieve extraordinary success with these fundamentals. If in the pursuit of the extraordinary you focus on love, wisdom, and courage, you'll find, I believe, that extraordinary experiences, not winning or the bottom line, is the key to extraordinary performance.